The measure of a man...

What is the true measure of a man? Is it he who is the strongest, the richest, with the most brawn or braggado? Or is it a man of integrity, of quiet ambition, who knows what he wants and is not threatened by a strong woman. Everyday in the last 13 years, I see the true measure of a man. He is my friend, my lover, my caregiver, the father of my children and my husband. Self-effacing and polite, people mistake his character traits for weakness. He loves literature (like I do), enjoys the game of scrabble (like I do), is a chess addict (which I dont have the mental capacity for), worships football (which I hate), loves classical music (not for me) and loves me, warts and all. Last week, I was unexpectedly rushed to the hospital to have my appendix removed. It could not have happened at the worst possible time. I was between house helps but my husband totally stepped up to the plate. He took time off work and became a househusband. He was there while I had surgery, his face was the first I saw when I woke up and everyday spent about three hours by my bedside. The nurses joked that I must have done 'ju-ju' for him and he just laughed. For the first two days before my cousin came in from Kano, he would wake the kids up, make sure they bathed and are dressed on time and send them on their way. He would then be with me from mid-morning till just before they get back from school. He leaves to buy lunch and dinner for them (he cannot cook to save his life!) and be back home before they get in. He was so wonderful. I shared a room with a nice woman who was there two days before me. She had a major surgery. For the four days I was recuperating in the hospital ward, her husband came once. He was there with another man for barely five minutes, which was all spent talking to his friend about the '10 or 16 billion' squandered rescuing the power situation. He totally ignored her. She timidly asked him for a 'glo-recharge card' and he said he would send his driver back to bring it regardless of the fact that there were people selling the cards on the grounds of the hospital. He then left after 5 minutes. This is the mother of his six children. It just took me back to my first marriage when I felt more like a piece of furniture. The relationship between them felt like a master/servant relationship. About an hour after he left, my husband went out to stretch his legs. He came back and handed the woman several recharge cards. She was speechless and so was I. I did not even realise he heard the exchange between the couple because he was reading his paper. These are the tiny things he does that I really appreciate. My very polite gentleman whose mantra is 'chivalry is not dead'. I never forget how lucky I am to be with him and I try to be a good wife to him, not perfect but good. He is not perfect either but is as near to perfection as I can get, recognising the fact that all men have human foibles. I know that this time I struck gold. As Fraulein Maria sang in 'The Sound of Music'
'Somewhere in my youth or childhood,
I must have done something good'